Grateful for...

posted on: Friday, 5 October 2012

As a cosmic counter-balance to yesterday's outpouring, this is what I find myself grateful for today:

That there is a writer such as Judy Blume, whose books I devoured as an eleven year old, whose books I now give to my eleven year old to read. A girl's rite of passage.

That tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.

That at the end of every day, my little family all come home.

That I have health. Whilst I may not always have comfort, I have health.

That boys will be boys; as consistent as the tide.

That there is coffee.

photograph by natasha

That there are memories. I had lots of old photos scanned for my Mum's forthcoming 70th birthday; this is her! How cool is she?!

That when I wake and look to my side in the mornings, he is there, he still rocks my world after twenty years.

via better than fine
That I can now cook a repertoire of winter meals; pies, crumbles and bakes.

That there is such a thing as letterpress. Paper loveliness that can make my heart flutter and the fact that I can utilise it for L'Apothecary designs :-)

That some people still dress to look sharp.

It's my husband's birthday tomorrow, we are having dinner with our best friends so I am looking forward to a night of laughter and good food. Thank you so much for your comments to my last post - as ever, wisdom pours out of blog readers.

Have a delicious weekend!

A future glimpse...

posted on: Monday, 1 October 2012

Family life appears to stay the same, but actually when you do a year-on-year or even a month-on month-comparison, you see that change has taken place, almost unbeknownst to you. This is, I suppose most evident in photos; I look at my children today and think they are the epitome of themselves, they are what I know best. Yet I see photographs from only a few months back and see subtle changes to their appearance and demeanour. It may be that in particular my children have reached an era of change; they're plunging headlong into growing up.

It is at once exciting and daunting. I am having to examine my reactions to them growing up. With their new schools has come increased independence and I see them, each day, stepping a little further away from me. I get the very distinct feeling that motherhood has reached a milestone. Of course my mother-work will never, ever be done, I just have to look at my Mum to see that, but what they need from me (or don't need) is changing.

For Boo especially, to some degree, I have become an observer rather than an influencer. I can advise but I can no longer dictate! I think about when they were really small and the utter reliance they had on me, how every thing they did/ate/said/thought was somehow derived from an action of mine.

...mother and daughter...
I observe my contemporaries (after all it is the mothers we compare ourselves to that are the acid test) and regard how they are reacting. Some are relishing the change. Some seem to be mourning the loss of what their children used to be. Some are regarding life differently; the advent of senior school a glimpse into the future, a sharpening up of those shadowy images of grown-up children. Dare I say the empty nest?! I know that empty nest is a long time off for us, but still its possibility has loomed into my mind in recent weeks.

My conclusion: change is all there is. The only choice for me is to try to simultaneously let them go and hold on to them, to squeeze out every last precious drop of childhood!